Jim and Pam: Past, Present, and future
by JAMonMyToast
Summary: Jim and Pam never got the timing right...from elementary school to graduation, from pursuing New York to high-school romances. Angsty, fluffy, all-around interesting. The summary sucks, I know. Just read. You'll enjoy. *Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok, this is my first fanfic ever. Like, ever. And I'm really scared! I don't know if these guys are OOC or not, and I'm really just scared...so please read with an open mind and be nice! Please! I'm super busy and stuff so if you don't like it then I can not continue...**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters, personalties, nothing. This show is not mine. Can you imagine what a disaster it would be if I DID own it?_**

"Come _on_, Pammy! Mikey says everyone's there!"

"Aw, Kelly, who's _everyone_?"

"You know! Everyone! Angela and Dwight and Andy and Phyllis and Oscar and all sorts of people! Come on, Pammy!"

"Ok, ok, but I'm sick of sitting in Mr. Wallace's curb to listen to the radio! And it smells like dogs!" 7 year-old Pamela Beesly was being tugged to Mr. Wallace's house by her friend, Kelly. They hung out at Mr. Wallace's all the time. David Wallace had two dogs, and since he was gone all day, he would turn the radio on for his dogs to listen to in their kennel. All the neighborhood kids hung out there during the hot summer days, under the shade of his big maple tree, listening to classic rock stations. Only since they couldn't get _inside_ the kennel to change the stations, sometimes he had strange stations playing.

"Of course it smells like dogs, silly, he has two of 'em. Oooh, and I think Ryan's gonna be there!" Kelly squealed, tugging harder on Pam's arm when she said that. Pam winced.

"Why do you like Ryan so much?" Pam asked.

"He's sooo cute, Pammy. We're gonna get married. I just know it! And gues who else will be there?" Kelly looked at Pam excitedly.

"Who?"

"Some new boy who lives in-between Mikey and Dwight! His name is Jimmy!"

"Jimmy.." Pam let the name rest on her tongue. She liked the name.

"And Roy, Pammy. ROY! He likes ya, Pammy. Really."

"But I don't like him!" Pam yelled. Roy Anderson was a big, rambunctious little boy who was always getting in trouble-but not for being silly or playing pranks, but for bullying kids. He was always asking Pam to be his girlfriend, but she didn't like him. And of _course_ she knew about the cooties epidemic that was going around.

The two girls arrived at the maple tree, and Pam giggled at the scene. Kelly immediately began chasing Ryan, him yelling something about cooties. Dwight was following Mikey around, swinging his stick like a wand or something. Angela was sitting on the grass, reading a children's bible. Phyllis and a kid named Stanley were laughing, and the weird kid named Creed was sleeping, the other weird kid, Meredith, not far behind. Oscar was talking to the fat kid, Kevin, and there was a little boy on the other side of the tree, making an astonished face at Dwight. Pam walked through the quirky group, and accidentally ran into him on the other side of the tree.

"Sorry!" Pam blushed and tried to walk away. The boy just smiled. He had nice green eyes and floppy brown hair.

"Hi. I'm Jimmy." He brushed away a piece of hair that had fallen into his eye. Pam blinked, forgetting her words for a second. She kinda liked this little boy.

"Um...I'm Pammy. I live across the street from you." She smiled back, nervously tugging at a red pigtail.

"Cool. Um...is Dwight always this weird?" Jimmy asked. Pam laughed, making his heart flutter.

"Yeah, he is. And he likes Mikey. A lot. But I think he has a crush on Angela." Pam said, pointing to the tiny blonde girl, reading the bible. Mikey ran past her, picking up her bible and throwing it. Angela yelled, then was about to start crying when Dwight picked it up and handed it to her.

"Here you are, fine lady." He scurried off to join Mikey, leaving a surprised Angela to mutter softly to herself, "Only bad kids, sinners."

"Hey, Pammy! Hi!" Roy ran up to her, giving Jimmy a dirty look. Pam frowned.

"Hi, Roy. This is Jimmy." Pam looked at the ground. Roy wanted to be her boyfriend, but she said no all the times. And he even told everyone that they kissed!

"Yeah, I know. Hey, Pammy, I have somethin' for ya'." He fished around in his pockets for a second, then finally found what he was looking for. He handed it to Pam with dirty fingers. She bit her lip, but took it anyways, trying to be polite like her mom told her to.

"What-what is this?" Pam said, astonished. The ring was real pretty.

"A ring. It is my mom's but she won't care." Roy smiled real big.

"You should give it back to you're mother." Pam said, and with that she handed it back, the whole time Jimmy was watching her, listening. She was real cute. Her voice was nice too, soft and gentle on his ears. Better than Mikey, who had been jabbering to him all day.

"Aw, Pammy!" Roy yelled, then ran towards his house. Pam stared at the ground. In the backround, she could hear someone singing "Ryan and Kelly, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

"Hey, Pam, you wanna play a prank on Dwight?" Jimmy asked. She took his hand, smiling that pretty smile. Pam didn't even care about cooties anymore.

"Sure."

_**Ok, once again, first fan fic ever. I would totally love everyone who reviews and If you do, then tell me what I did wrong. And be nice. I'm a rookie, people. New to this and seriously in need of help. I have no idea how to do ANTHING.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter! I really hope you guys like it...I am not sure where this story is going. Anyways, I jumped to the ninth grade. Bad idea? I don't know, this idea came to me and I started typing. Sometimes I feel more like a reader, because I don't know where my fingers are taking me. So...enjoy. I hope.**

"Oh my god, Pam! He's like the most popular guy in our grade! Did you see that? That was like a full-on wink! He totally likes you! This is like in those movies where the not-so-popular girl ends up with the super popular guy..."

Pam drowned out the high-pitched words of her friend, Kelly Kapoor. She was nice, and always happy, but sometimes her words just became some sort of squeal that you have to ignore. Roy Anderson, the only ninth-grader that had made it on the Varsity football team, had given Pam a wink in Chemistry. And then confronted her after class. Pam was super surprised, because it wasn't to copy her notes.

But Kelly was right, Roy _was_ popular. He was an awesome football player and all the girls liked him. Pam wasn't so interested, but Roy had been talking to her a lot lately. Which is why there was now eight girls standing in front of her, ready to be late for their next class, saying, "Tell us everything Roy said! Everything!" In her vision was a heap of brightly-colored purses and tacky shoes, along with glittery hair clips and "Ooohs!" and "Oh my god!!"

All this among Pam's turtleneck and white tennis-shoes. Thanks to Roy Anderson, she was being drowned in glitter and fake nails. Heck, Pam would be lucky if she didn't choke on the thick layer of hair spray and die. The cheap purfume reamed her nostrils.

"Um, he just said, uh, like hi and stuff." There it was. Her answer. A sentence like _that_ in the middle of these girls, who were confident and, well, beautiful? Pam wasn't going to last two days as a "popular girl."

"Really? Did he ask you out or something? Or like ask you if you're busy? 'Cause if he did, then he's totally gonna ask you out!" Kelly yelled. The other girls were all happy and bouncy and clappy and giggley and Pam could _seriously _kill someone.

"Um, he asked me if I was busy. Ya know, this weekend. and I said no. But that was it." She waited for the next batch of inevitable girl screams.

Her head began to throb, her knees tightening up and the prickle of perspiration. Pam was losing focus, blinking rapidly to get a grip. All because she heard one voice in the back of the crowd. And what that voice said was, "Why does Roy even like _her_? I mean, look at those clothes! _Yuck_!"

She gripped her textbooks, rushing of with an "I have to get to class" and a shuffle of embarassed feet. Pam was so much better off sitting at her own table with Jim Halpert, her best friend.

She was just looking forward to next period, where she could sit down at the table near the window, say hi to Jim, and plot another prank. That was so much more fun than sitting with some shallow girls. As she came around a corner, Roy saw her and smiled.

"Hey, Pam." He was tall and confident. Like a typical popular guy. Jesus, she was sick of the word _popular._

"Hey, Roy." Her forehead burned, a symptom indicating that she was nervous. Too bad Pam didn't need a burning forehead to know she was mortified.

"Hey, you wanna sit with me at lunch? We can talk and stuff. I just thought if you're friend, Halpert, could sit somewhere else or something." His words rang in her ears. She couldn't help but be a little excited. The older Roy got, the cuter he got. And he did seem pretty nice.

She smiled genuinely. "Sure." Jim could sit somehwere else, couldn't he? He had the whole basketball team and they were all friends, right? Man, her forehead was on fire.

"Cool." He said. She smiled. Good thing that the girls were nowhere to be found, Otherwise she'd be deaf by now. A hand came up, tapping her shoulder. She turned to see her best friend, Jim, standing beside her. The same floppy brown hair, green eyes, lop-sided smile.

"Hey Jim." She smiled. Anything he said could make her laugh, which was always his motive.

Jim talked easily with his best friend, Pam. A snappy comment there, some sarcasm here, and her beautiful, musical laughter rang through the halls. Ever since that summer day in David Wallaces yard, he'd been totally taken by Pam Beesly. Sure, the place reeked of dogs and the music wasn't even good, but he knew as a seven year-old that she was something special.

"Hey, Pam. Say, I have this great idea for a prank on Dwight-"

"Actually, I think I'm gonna sit with Roy today. He asked me. Is that ok?" Her words rang in his ears. She was going to sit with Roy? Jim never thought her silly little crush on Roy would come to this.

"Yeah, that's ok. I'll sit with Michael. Dwight's off visiting his aunt and uncle-you know, his cousin Mose? He's going up to that beet farm, so Michael has nobody to sit with. Ryan's been sitting with Kelly, so...I'll keep Michael company today." He never thought that he'd sink so low as to sitting with Michael Scott. He had been asked about...nine times, and had always found a way out of it.

Pam laughed. "Oh! The beet farm we always hear about! Maybe he'll leave or something and just never come back. Dwight's better suited at a beet farm anyways. Well, have a good lunch, Jim." She walked down the halls, a little bounce in her step.

The lunch was long, with Michael rambling on about how much he liked Jan Levinson, throwing in a "That's what she said!" every other sentence. Jim just munched on his sandwich and stared at Pam, sitting at their table, laughing it up with Roy Anderson. He didn't deserve her.

"Are you happy for Pam? 'Cause she is gonna like, be with Roy?" Michael sounded to innocent when he said it, but Jim wanted to strangle him. All Michael had said was the truth.

"Yeah. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So..." Jim wasn't sure why he was confiding in the world's worst confidant, but he was. And he couldn't stop.

"Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would've never put you two together. You really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that. You know I made out with Jan?"

"I know." Michael had made it known throughout the entire school more than once. Jan was ready to kill him. Michael was even calling her his girlfriend. After a few kisses.

"Yep, yep. Well, Pam is cute." Jim smiled, realizing the truth of that statement. Pam was beautiful.

"Yeah. She's really funny. And she's warm. And she's just-I dunno..." He didn't want to go on and on about what he thought about her.

"Well if ya like her so much, then don't give up." Michael's eyes were shining, like he was actually being earnest. Jim stared off into space. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

"Roy's already made a move on her, Michael." That part was true, too. Once a guy made it clear that he liked a girl, then it was sorta rude to go after her. Kind of like a guy code. Jim hated thinking of it that way, but that's how it was.

"BFD. Their not married." That was also true.

"Huh." He pondered that for a moment, imagining if he told Pam how he felt and she admitted to feeling the same way. His little fantasy was going through his head when Michael's words broke his trance.

**"Never, ever, **_**ever**_** give up." **

Those words were what killed Jim. He didn't want to give up, but he wasn't sure what he would do if Pam stayed with Roy. Roy was not a good guy, and Jim knew it. But he was also the only freshman to make it on the varsity football team, and he was pretty good-looking, _and_ he was super popular. The teachers hated him and he could care less about his grades, making him the ideal bad boy. The type girls went crazy for. It was disgusting.

Pam was self-concious the whole time she ate with Roy. Was she eating too much? Was the yogurt a bad choice? Did she look like a pig? Did he even like her, or was this a joke from the guys on the team? Her head was swimming with these thoughts when he saw her sketch book.

"What's this, Pammy?" He grabbed for it before she could move it away. Oh, God, not her sketches!

"Um, those are just...I was bored, ya know? Just doodles..." She was flushed, mumbling and staring at the revolting plop of mixed berry yogurt sitting in front of her. This was embarassing.

"These are pretty good, Pammy. Cool. I can't draw at all." He said that like it was no big deal, like it was normal for her to have drawings and carry them around with her. Like he was really ok with it. She felt herself giving him a nervous smile as he set it back down on the table.

"Thanks." He brushed away a curl that was hanging in her eyes. Her lip throbbed, she was biting it for the millionth time that day. First in front of those shallow girls, now in front of Roy.

He gave that laugh that her and Jim had coined the "jock laugh". It was sort of fake, with some maucho-ness that sounded so stupid. She giggled when she heard it.

"So, uh, you wanna hit a movie this weekend? I would love to go with you." She felt a strong, crimson blush creeping up in her cheeks.

"Sure."

He made plans to meet her in the local movie-theater on Saturday night, and she said that she'd be at the game on Friday. He smiled at her and touched her hand before leaving to talk to his jock friends. She got up and joined Michael and Jim.

"Roy asked me out! We're going on on Saturday! to a movie!" Now it was her turn to be all squealy. She had gotten a date with a guy that she never thought she'd be able to even talk to. Except for when he asked to borrow her chemistry notes. She felt so surreal. Jim smiled, apparently happy for her. Michael yelled something about Roy boning her, but the whole cafeteria waved it off as another inappropriate joke.

"That's great, Pam." Jim smiled and returned to his sandwich, while she ate her yogurt without a second thought and deposited it in the trash. She was walking on air.

**So..****.just tell me what you thought. Reviews loved. I don't know how I feel about this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah, well in this chapter there is a really cute flashback and uh...a super dramatic turn when it comes to Jim and Pam. I started out this story as a totally random idea, and I decided to stick with it, so this chapter is about what Pam and Jim decide to do. I really hope you like it. Oh, yeah, and I didn't start this one out with a line from Kelly Kapoor. Haha.**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own the characters, the personalities, or Pam's favorite hobby. Nothing. You people should understand that._**

* * *

Pam sat in the chair, nervously waiting the arrival of Emma Emiliana. She was an elderly woman, around eighty, who had family near Scranton. She was driving through here, and the school paper had begged her to give them an interview.

Emma Emiliana was once a broadway star, years and years ago. The interview was supposed to be given to a senior, but the editor had chosen Pam. She was one of the best writers, even though she was only in tenth grade. Emma had quite a story to tell, and Pam was the one who could best describe it in a way that would entertain the students. She had a way with words.

Picking up a sketchbook, she began fiddling with the pencil and started to draw the fish tank that sat in one of the small rooms that were connected to the bull pen. She began to shade the shadow, then paused to fix her clownfish. She pulled her wrist in front of her face. 4:23. Emma had seven minutes. Pam bit her lip, a nervous jitter she's had since she was seven.

When she hastily finished part of the sketch, she gave the finished portion a satisfied sigh. Pam loved art, anything that had to do with it. Watercolors, oil paints, famous paintings, simple doodles, long, simple strokes or tiny eyelashes on a self-portrait. A yellow blob that would become the sun, some green lines that would become a field of prarie grass. Her parents didn't think she should go into art, and Roy had laughed when she brought it up to him. He had seemed supportive when he _first_ saw her sketches, but he thought it wouldn't be stable enough for a career. Pam had talked with her parents, they had told her she was good at her art, but they also thought it wasn't a good career choice.

She was pondering her sketch when there was a soft knock on the door. She stood up, smoothed her turtleneck, and walked over to greet Emma. They shook hands, Emma moving her head around slowly, taking in the new room around her.

She was really something, that Emma Emiliana. She had a long, colorful skirt on, along with a silvery top and a furry, tye-dye scarf. Pam smiled at the variety, quickly thinking of ways to put that in her article. Emma had thick eye shadow and wine-colored lipstick. Lime-green toenails finished her off.

They got each other's names and both smiled, Emma wasn't nervous in the least, but Pam was trying to not bite her lower lip.

They both sat down, Pam clearing her throat and beginning to ask questions.

"Where were you born, Emma?"

"I was born in the small town not a few miles from here, in a one-room cabin."

"How was your upbringing?" Pam was growing curious.

"It was a hard life, I usually had my sisters leftover clothes, which were nearly ripped to shreds by the time I got to 'em. My shoes were worn and my shirts had more holes 'n swiss cheese. I walked a few miles to school, which was better than home 'cause of the heating in the winter time."

Pam smiled. Emma would probably do this interview better if she had free reign of her talking.

"How about you just tell me your version of the story, ok Emma? Tell me how you like to tell it."

"Mm, thanks darlin'. Anyways, I was real poor back then. Usually hungry, with a few siblings. My older sister was smart, so my parents favored her. I discovered my acting and singing when I was in third grade. It was my escape, sweetheart. I could be rich and glamorous whenever I wanted with my actin'.

Pam nodded. She grabbed the sketch book, and started to draw Emma. The winkles and lines in her face. the colors fanning out in her clothes, the way her hands waved when she told the story. She was amazing.

"What are you doin', sugar?" She leaned forward, trying to see what Pam was drawing.

"Is it ok if I sketch you, Emma?" Pam looked at her, smiling. Emma was nodding.

"Yes, sugar. Anyways, my parents didn't think I should go into acting. They thought it was an ok hobby, but they said no when it came to my job. They told me to pick anything but acting and singin'. Anything. They told me that I wasn't goin' into actin' on their watch."

"So what did you do?" Pam looked up from the sketch to make eye contact with Emma.

"Oh, honey, they said that I couldn't on their watch, so I ran away! I ran off on a cool night, with nothing but some torn clothes. I hitch hiked my way to New York, and let me tell you sweetie, I had so many truckers puttin' the moves on me it was hysterical! But I made it ok, sugar. You know the ending to this story."

Pam was so amazed by her story, she could hardly find her words. "How were you discovered?"

"I was homeless for 'bout a year or so, wandering my way through the streets with nothing but the clothes I took from my old house here in Pennsylvania. I finally got a job as a waitress, which was no picnic but I got food then, sugar. Then I was the lucky girl was got to serve some guy who was real popular on Broadway, I don't remember his name now, but he told me I had ten minutes to prove to him I could be on Broadway, and honey, I did it!"

Pam raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Oh, yes sweetheart, I did. He set me up with some other big names, I was in my first show not long afterwards, and the rest is history! I was such a star, girl, you wouldn't believe."

Pam was in awe of the tale. Emma had just run away? From her home?

"If there was one thing you could say about New York, what would it be?" Pam had prepared this question a few days ago, wanting to know what NY was like. She had never been there before.

"Hm, well sugar, If I had one thing to say, it would be this: New York is where any girl can become a star overnight. And not just for Broadway, but for anything. You can ignite your dreams in New York, honey. It's where you can do anything." Emma's eyes were glistening with stars, past memories.

It was on that day, as Pam typed up her article, when she realized what she was going to do. When she graduated, she was going to run to New York. She could attend a great art school there, and be anything. Anything, just like Emma said. The city so nice they named it twice...

_New York, New York..._

She would prove her parents wrong. She would prove them all wrong.

Jim sat in his bedroom that night and blinked a few times. It was pretty much impossible for him to fall asleep at the moment. Instinctively, he reached over to his nightstand, but nothing was there but a lamp and his alarm clock. The flashlight that had once sat there was tucked away in his closet.

When he and Pam were in second grade, they read a library book together. They couldn't understand many of the words, but they managed to learn what morse code was.

They both got flashlights and whenever one of them couldn't fall asleep, they would take one and flash it aross the street, into the other's bedroom. With long "dahs" and short "dits" they were able to have simple conversations, mostly containing something like "hi". Nothing more. But once they got to be in about seventh grade, they would only flash the light once, then the other person would call them and they would have long conversations while sitting in front of their windows, being able to see each other. Sometimes, if Jim was doing his homework, she would simply look at him and he would sense her eyes on him, and he would look up. Just a shared glance made both of them smile.

He suddenly jumped out of bed. Bringing up an old tradition like this would probably make Pam smile. After digging around in the back corners of his closet, he saw it.

The flashlight. It was blue, decorated in stickers, most of them with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He laughed when he saw them all over, then pressed his thumb into the black button and watched it click on. He took a deep breath and aimed it straight out his window.

Pam was laying in bed, unable to sleep when she saw the light in her bedroom. Wait...what? A light? She giggled when she realized that Jim couldn't sleep. He was bringing back their tradition from, like, their 'tween days. She quickly ran to her closet and found hers, sitting neatly beside a stack of books.

The flashlight. It was pink, decorated in stickers, most of them Barbies. She giggled when she saw them covering the whole thing, then pressed her delicate thumb into the small switch, watching the light fill her room. She smiled and pointed it in the direction of Jim's house.

Jim could hardly believe she had responded with the light. Her gave her some small waves around her bedroom, meaning that he was ready for her to call. They had always done it that way so when one of them called, then they knew the other person was ready to answer it quickly, so they didn't wake their parents up or anything. She responded with a few clicks. They had never actually stuck with the real Morse Code, because it was a little complicated. They had established their own system, of a few little dashes, but nothing like the real Morse Code. It was special. He remembers the day they thought of it.

_Pam finished the last letter on their piece of paper. They had recorded their system so they would always remember. Three dashes for yes, two for no..._

_She added a smiley face with her purple crayon and smiled._

_"Now it's done, Jimmy." She turned to him and giggled._

_"No, Pammy. It's not. Not quite." He grabbed an orange crayon and began to write on the top._

_"What're you writin', Jimmy?" She couldn't see, because he was covering it with his other hand._

_"You'll see, Pammy." He finished it with a final flourish. "There."_

_She squinted and slowly read what he had written. "'Jammy Code.' Jimmy, what does 'Jammy' mean?" She looked at him, confused. He thought she looked adorable with the little wrinkle in her nose._

_"It stands for us, Pammy. Jimmy and Pammy together is Jammy. Now do you get it?" He beamed when she slowly let the smile spread across her face._

_"Yes, Jimmy. I like it very much." They shook hands and from then on, they named every drawing they did together, every sandcastle, every clay creation, every art and every craft, something with the word 'Jammy' in it. Soon, as they got older and became just Jim and Pam, it was changed to Jam. _

He was brought back to life when he heard the ring beside him. Quickly picking it up, he smiled.

"Hey," he said in a hushed whisper.

"You brought back the Jammy Code, huh?" She sounded happy, light and giddy. Bringing back old memories always made Pam happy.

"Yeah, well I couldn't sleep, and you know how this always worked. I would have made my mom read me a story, but I hate anything other than _The Velveteen Rabbit_." Before he was even finished she was giggling, him shushing her so she wouldn't wake up her sisters in the rooms down the hall.

"Yeah, Jim, I know. Hey, guess what I wanna do when I graduate?" She let the pause sink in for a moment. Jim knew she wanted to go somewhere with her art, he had always been so supportive.

"What?" He knew she was thinking of something wild, like leaving Scranton to go on with her art. Pam wasn't very spontaneous, but she really loved her art.

"Well, I interviewed that Emma girl, and she ran away form her town in the middle of the night and hitch hiked to New York. She became a Boadway star! I just think that maybe I would have a better chance in NY..." Pam didn't feel stupid, she never did with Jim. He understood her and never laughed at her ideas. She could tell him anything.

"You want to run away to New York?" He didn't sound surprised, just curious as to whether she had a back plan or something.

"Um, well, I think I can apply to some art schools, ya know, like Pratt or something, and if I get in, then I can leave and become like a graphic designer." She sounded so excited, so hopeful, he wanted her to always feel that way.

"Well, I want to teach guitar lessons, but my parents tell me that I shouldn't. It's 'not stable enough'". He loved guitar, and dreamed of someday teaching lessons to younger kids. Like Pam, it would probably prosper in New York.

"Yeah, I know you do. Hey, let's make a deal." She was suddenly serious.

"Oh, come on Pam, Michael already told me how this game works. No deal, Howie." He sounded sincere. She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes, but was suddenly serious again.

"No, really, like a promise." He smiled. Pam always kept her promises.

"Ok, Pam."

"Alright, if by graduation day neither of us have decided on something we love more than guitar and art, then we will leave for New York together. One of us will have a car by then and I'm getting a real job soon, so it would totally work." The plan wasn't actually so bad. he would get to pursue his dream, Pam would get hers, and he would get to run off to New York with her.

"Ok, it's a deal."

* * *

**Review, review, review! People who only read, you won't understand how much reviews are appreciated until you write a story! Please, tell me what you thought. Please. Tell me what you think about this development. I'm worried about this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh, naive fanfic readers. Did you really think that complications wouldn't arise? (Evil laugh) Well, you thought wrong! **

**OK, as you guys know, Jim and Pam didn't have an easy romance at first, so things aren't perfect just yet. But if you're patient and always always always review, then maybe they will end up happily ever after. Maybe not. And to answer someone's little question or whatever, it was mentioned in the beginning of chapter three that Emma Emiliana was around 80 years old. Sorry for not making that clear enough.**

**I had this idea, but it was still hard to write. I know it isn't the best, probably my worst chapter. I know it isn't that good, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Really, don't get too excited. It isn't a good chapter. At all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, some of the quotes, the show, or anything. You know that.**

* * *

"Come on, Roy. Just stay a little longer. Please?"

"Aw, Pammy, you can stay. But Kenny said that there was a huge party that Katy was throwing and everyone knows you can't have booze at Michael's house!"

"Katy? You mean that slutty cheerleader?"

"Come on, Pam. I'm gonna go. Just hang with Halpert."

"Ok. Fine. I'll stay here alone, without my date because you want to get drunk." Pam walked away in disgust, tears threatening to spill when she heard Roy's truck pull away, because he obviously didn't really care about her feelings, graduation party or not. She could feel her cheeks burning when she spotted Jim coming from the corner of her eye.

Michael was throwing a graduation party, which was supposed to go late into the night and get really crazy, but his mom made him wear a suit and nobody could have liquor. The theme was casino night, and he was trying to tell everyone that _he_ wasn't throwing the party, "lady fortune" was. Nobody really cared. Angela thought that gambling would send them to hell, Dwight had helped them win at Craps without knowing it, and Stanley wanted more pretzels. Some of the misfits had come, though, because there wasn't much else going on. Meredith had already left for booze at Katy's house.

Pam had beat Jim, no, _killed_ Jim in a game not too long ago, taking all of his chips and sharing a giggle with him too. As usual, he was able to perfectly imitate her expression when she saw her cards.

"Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?" He was looking serious, but she was desperate to lighten the mood.

"About when you want to give me more of your money?" She had that smile, the one that made him want to thank God and cry at the same time.

"No, I-" She cut him off.

"Did you want to do that now? We can go inside. I'm feelin' kinda good tonight." She was playing it cocky, the type of thing that would usually bring a laugh and sarcastic comment from him. But not tonight.

"I was just, um... I'm in love with you." The words rang true, and he tried to clench out the look of shock she was giving him, unregistered surprise.

"What?" She wanted him to take it back, take it all back. Why did he have to do this? So he could make things uncomfortable? Ruin their friendship?

"I'm really sorry it that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that, I just-"

"What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?" She was trying to be angry, she wanted to be. But she couldn't be. Not like this. This was so...what was it, exactly?

"I just needed you to know. Once." the sound of his voice killed her. So true, so pure. He just needed her to know, at least once, so she could be fully aware of the fact that he loved her. Just once.

"Well, I um-I can't." I can't. Those words punctured him, like she had no choice. It's not that she _won't,_ but she _can't._

"Yeah." He knows. He knows everything and it hurts him so bad, he knows. But he just needed to try.

Once.

"You have no idea-" She's trying to patch it up, make things better. She'll forget, maybe.

"Don't do that." He knows she's trying to fix this, repair it. But it can't be taped together with laughs anymore. It never could have been. Since he was seven years old, it was a lost cause.

"-what your friendship means to me." Like that will make him forgive his feelings, which brought him to the breaking point tonight. Or his words, which pushed him over the edge in this whole unfair splotch in Jim's life.

"Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that." He just had to tell her this, once. Let her know because he had already made his decision.

"I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault." She doesn't want to blame him, but her whole world is crashing around her and she isn't sure if she wants to run or push him away.

"Pam, do you remember when we were in tenth grade? And we made that promise? To go to New York if we both haven't found things that we love more than guitar and art by graduation? Do you remember that?" He is pleading now, just trying to make her remember what they could have done.

Once.

"Jim, don't do that. Don't even bring that up. You know that was a silly tenth grade thing. You brought back an old memory and I was feeling so spontaneous after talking to that Emilie Emanana or whatever-her-name-was and we both said something that we didn't mean." She is lying, trying to force out her old memories. Trying to make them go away.

"I didn't say anything that night that I didn't mean. And I know you didn't either, Pam. I know you still want to pursue art, and I still love guitar. You know that we could leave. You're just too scared-"

"Don't tell me that. Don't, for the last time, stop saying these things. I have plans to move in with Roy, I am staying here in Scranton, do you hear me? Are you listening, Jim? I'm sorry, but you didn't have to let this happen, you know." She doesn't know what this is, this anger. She isn't sure why she's blowing it at Jim, but she is.

"OK, then. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship." And with that, Jim walked away.

XXXX

Everyone knew about it, practically the next day. Everyone knew what Jim had done, they had heard about his mother freaking out and the angry phone calls his dad was making.

Jim's parents woke up in the morning to find some of his clothes, car, and guitar gone. A small note was sitting on the kitchen counter, written in his slanted, pushed together handwriting.

_Mom and Dad,_

_I tried so hard to find out what I could do instead of a career with my guitar, but I couldn't find something else I was passionate about. I left, for New York. I'll come back soon, when the time is right. Don't worry about me._

Pam had heard the news the second she woke up from her fitful sleep. It was a night of tossing and turning, and she spent an hour talking it over with her mom. When her mother had asked her that question-"Do you love him back?", she couldn't say anything but yes. Because as much as Pam didn't want to face it right now, she did.

But Jim was gone and she was with Roy. She didn't even know where Jim was headed.

Pam had the whole summer to decide where she was going to college. She had gotten accepted at a number of places, and one in particular stuck out to her. Jim had been there to talk to her about it. He had always been there.

_"I just don't know, Jim. Are you sure that I would get in? What if my parents find out? They'll be so mad! I'm not sure, I'll get caught, my sisters will find out, I know. Should I mail my application?" She was frantic, and it was Jim's idea anyways. She had thought about applying to the Pratt School of Design, but it was him who told her to do it. Him who sat by her while she filled out the application, helped her through the tough questions, pointed out small mistakes that she didn't notice through her shaky handwriting. But now that it was all done, she didn't want to mail it. She knew that if her parents found out she applied to an art school in New York they would be furious._

_"It's okay, Pam. Just put it in the mail box. Is this what you want?" He was looking at her, questioning her dream._

_"Yeah, it's just-"_

_"Then mail it, Pam. If this is what you truly want, then they will eventually understand. If they know you're serious." He smiled, gently taking her hand. She pulled away._

_"Can you mail it? For me? Just put it in, I don't know if I-"_

_"You have to be the one to do it, Pam. I'm not applying, you are." She took a deep breath and slid it inside, then blushed when she realized that her fingers were shaking. He laughed. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it Beesly?" She laughed back._

_"No, I guess it wasn't."_

Pam had been accepted at Pratt. And she knew she she wanted to do.

But she had ruined things with Jim, totally botched them and she just didn't want to face that yet. It was too late for her to realize that she wanted to go with him. And Roy was getting really serious with their relationship. He was looking at little apartments and asking her about her future. Nothing felt right anymore.

XXXX

Jim had taken off not long after Michael's party. He left Pam, driving home. He then pulled out a bunch of his clothes, threw them in a suitcase, grabbed his guitar, scribbled down a note and drove to New York. The city so nice they named it twice.

He couldn't stay in Scranton. He couldn't watch her move in with Roy and he couldn't witness Roy treat her badly either. He couldn't watch his whole life reject him. He couldn't take an office job, and sit at a desk for 10 hours a day. He couldn't imagine his future without her, but he would have to.

_"I can't." _

And this time, Jim couldn't either.

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**Tell me what you thought. I know you were hoping that Jim and Pam would run off to New York together, but I'm a fan of angst and struggles. Jim and Pam never had it easy. But reviews help! Please! I'm starting to feel discouraged. Seriously. I'm begging you guys.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, beware, readers. I have no idea where this chapter came from. No idea. You will see a side of Pam you don't get a glimpse of often. Sort of dark and you might consider it abuse. Either way, it's angst to the extreme. So angsty its...kind of bitter, actually. I wasn't really planning on it at all. It's different from my usual style, and I didn't really think I had this much angst in me. I promise, things will get better for our Jim and Pam.**

**Note: I'm leaving for Chicago tomorrow and won't be back until Friday. I will seriously try to update while I'm there, and I really hope I find inspiration in the city. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or NBC. You know that. Please don't sue me.**

* * *

It was wrong. It was wrong and unfair and she wanted to kill him. How could he do this? He left her, in the nothing town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, while he pursued his dream. One month ago, he left.

It was wrong.

She wished he knew, knew just exactly how she was feeling. The pain she couldn't get rid of. It won't ease in her chest and every breath hurts. But it's wrong. He threw 11 years of friendship down the drain just because she wasn't head over heels. No, she was head over heels for him. She just didn't realize it until now.

Not until he left, and she was without him.

She wanted to make him hurt. Make him feel this way, with hundreds of cuts and bruises and broken blood vessels and aches and tears. She wanted him to know what this is like. With burns and screams and hair pulling.

She deserves it, but he needs to know how this feels.

Her next breath is ragged, coming from deep in her chest, tangling her sobs with aching knots that are hidden deep inside, pushing, pushing, pushing. The pressure is building, she wants to scream.

So she does. With her arm in her mouth, she screams so loud the world must hear her. Everyone must know how she feels now. He can probably tell it's her. She bites on the soft flesh harder. It invigorates her, makes her feel whole. The pain is the only thing left to complete her.

Her teeth dig in, engraving little marks, they'll be there for days. As she lets go, her teeth automatically roam to her bottom lip. They bite so hard she can taste the blood.

But Pam doesn't know what to do. She can't make her wants known anymore, because she doesn't know them herself.

He's made her question herself, by bringing up the promise to go to New York. And now she wants to leave, find him. But she can't. She can't.

Her parents are out, eating dinner with Jim's parents. Her sisters are with friends. Roy's out with the guys. She doesn't even have a social life, because he is gone. The one she loved to be with most is in New York.

Without waves and hugs and goodbyes, he's gone. Just a note, slopped onto paper, stolen from Dwight's personalized stationary. They were supposed to write him letters with that. Letters from the future Dwight.

But he's gone.

And it hurts. It reams her with pain, searing through her muscles and making her ache so much she can hardly walk.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, she turns on the water. It's like ice, but her skin welcomes it, her pores closing at the chill.

The shivers make her shake. No, more like slam. Slamming in the shower, her hair soaked and scalp cold. Her tears are falling faster now, the cold water isn't enough.

She's welcoming it. She doesn't want to, but she is. She wants something that she doesn't like, won't enjoy.

Her small hand clutched the faucet, turning it far left. It's only a matter or seconds before the boiling water rains on her. Covering her, she screams again. Like she's deranged, her arms stings in the place she's biting but she doesn't care. The hot water feels so good and it hurts but she likes it. It hurts her so much. Her curls are limp, hot, her skin red. It burns, but _she likes it_. She just wants pain, nothing like death. She won't grab the razor, she won't take it to her wrist. She isn't going to be remembered that way. But she is. And just as it reaches her tender flesh, he stops.

No, he might come back. He can't see you with burns and cuts and blood.

She turns off the water, and as that cool air hits her it isn't soothing, it makes her teeth chatter. She's drenched in her bed, with the covers on top of her, soaking up the water. Sobs make her shake, she isn't muffling them anymore.

XXXX

Since Jim left, Pam had been a mess. A depressed, crying, confused mess. It didn't make it any better that she had seen Roy in the park, sucking the face off of that slut Katy. It didn't make her feel better when he actually thought they could still make it work.

_"Come on, Pammy. We can make this work. I just miss you, you know that. You haven't been yourself for the past month." He's trying to hug her, hold her, but his arms feel foreign and she wants to kill him._

_"No, Roy. You can't cheat on me and expect me to come back. We're over." The tears spilled down her red cheeks when she walked away. Shaking him off her arm when he grabbed for her._

_His voice became tiny as she got further and further away. Katy's trying to convince him that Pam doesn't matter, but Roy is pissed._

_"Shut up!" He yells at Kay before yelling after Pam again. Katy walks away, giving him a shove and cursing in her high-pitched voice. Pam laughed bitterly._

Meanwhile, she thought, Jim is probably living it up in New York.

XXXX

Jim was really excited about being in New York. It was wonderful. He had a part-time job at a pizza joint, so he could barely afford his worn apartment, but it was still great. He had met several people, his roommate was nice, his songs were looked at, even recorded a little.

Jim really wanted to teach guitar lessons, maybe to young beginners. Kids were one of his greatest passions, he got along with them so well. Combining guitar and kids would be a dream come true.

He had done well when it came to moving on, forgetting Pam. He had met a girl, Karen. She was funny, beautiful, and hardworking. He missed Pam, but had Karen.

So why couldn't he go five minutes without thinking about Pam's face, against the New York skyline. "_She would have a blast here,"_ he thought.

But every time he thought about her, he would simply think "_I hope she's happy with Roy_."

That didn't help him forget, but it made him _think_ that he had forgotten.

* * *

**If anyone else knows where this chapter came from, tell me, because I have no idea. Either way, tell me what you thought. Reviews are key. So if you want things to look up for these two, I'll schedule a reunion soon. Just review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok...I got like a few hours to write and get on the internet, so I decided to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's pretty angsty. I get home late tomorrow, so I'll get to really continue then. Enjoy, loyal readers! Don't get you're hopes high, though.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Office, NBC, or the song Mrs. Robinson. Yay me.**

* * *

"Anything I need to know about, Halpert?" Karen flickered her brown eyes towards Jim, who was concentrating on the road in front of him. He was nervous about arriving at his house, mostly because he knew that his mom was throwing him a "Welcome Back" party.

"Kevin will most likely check you out. Michael will say something inappropriate, Angela will tell us how wrong our relationship is, you know, I think you'll get used to it."

"Oh really? Pretty cool people you used to hang with, huh Halpert?" She laughed, giving her hair a nervous flip. Jim could always tell when Karen was being insecure, no matter how confident she looked on the surface. He could just...tell.

"Yeah. All of them are highly opinionated. I'm just used to it, you know? 'Cause I grew up with them." He was thinking, about using his slingshot on Dwight and listening to the classic music in Wallace's yard. He could even remember the song that was playing when he first went there, being shoved towards the yard that smelled like dogs by an annoying kid in a three-piece suit. Simon and Garfunkel.

_God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson..._

"Any old flames I should know about? Were you quite the ladies man or..." She trailed off when the color left Jim's face.

He couldn't do this, not now. He couldn't think of her. Not the hair or the eyes or the skin or...

**_"__I can't."_**

He needed to let this go. The past week had been killing him, the second his mom said she would throw a party upon his arrival, he couldn't sleep. concentrate, eat, watch TV. Nothing. He couldn't. Because she would be there.

Karen was sure she knew what was up. Jim hadn't froze like that since she had said something about curly red hair. All she was commenting on was a girl she saw on the street, but Jim had let his face go pale before yanking his head around, in search for the girl. It wasn't natural, she knew it.

"Are you listening, Jim?" She was tapping his fingers lightly, right before he gripped the steering wheel harder.

Jim had felt a jolt when she said that. Where had he heard those words?

**_"__Are you listening, Jim? I'm sorry, but you didn't have to let this happen, you know."_**

Her words, so full of fury and sadness. Graduation night, that was when he heard those words.

"Halpert, you need to watch the road. That trucker is flipping you off." Karen was smiling, not giggling. She didn't giggle like Pam did.

"Sorry. Just zoned out a little." He blinked a few times, hoping she didn't ask that question again.

"You never answered my question. Are there any former flames I should know about?" Her eyes were playful, but underneath she knew that Jim had left something, or some_one_ behind in Scranton. Crap, now he _had _to answer.

"Not really. Just...Pam. I told her I had feelings for her on graduation and she turned me down. I left the next morning. That was that." He was watching the power lines, the yellow dashes in the middle of the road. Anything but Karen's gaze.

"Oh. Oh. You don't still have fee-"

"No. I don't. Just you." He took his eyes off the road for a second, giving her a kiss on the lips before returning his eyes to the "Scranton Welcomes You" sign. They were here.

XXXX

Pam stood inside her house, taking deep breaths, inhaling, exhaling, over and over. He was coming today.

She had to clear the thoughts in her head, stop imagining what she hoped would happen. That he would come alone, telling her he missed her and this time she would be able to kiss him, full on the lips because she knew she felt the same way. Ha. She could hope and wish and pray, but nobody was getting rid of Karen. Too bad Pam didn't know about her. Yet.

All she knew was that her shorts, a little smaller than usual, really did look good, even though she hated her legs. And the form-fitting tank-top looked good too, accentuating her narrow shoulders and making her appear delicate. Her hair was soft and silky, in it's gentle waves, her lips glazed over with a light pink gloss. She had only spent the past three hours making sure everything was perfect. Perfect for him.

When she opened her door, she let out a little squeak when she saw who was waiting for her, a dopey grin on his face.

"Roy? What are you doing here?" She was annoyed, why would he even come here? She had told him that it was over too many times.

"Hey, Pammy. I just had to do this." He looked a little nervous, but Pam could hardly contain her surprise when he stepped up on her stoop and pushed his lips against hers, slipping his tongue in, just like the old days.

In books and stories and movies, they say that when you kiss someone you love, the whole world is blocked out. You're supposed to feel like you and your partner are the only two people on earth, sharing this beautiful moment of intimacy. Like nothing else matters.

But Pam was all too aware of everything. The squeals from Jim's house, most likely Kelly, a yell, sounding like Michael. The radio, on full-blast. She could even hear his mother, yelling at his younger brother to "Stay out of the cupcakes!"

The Spice Girls song coming on was just too irritating, and the kiss wasn't blocking out her unpleasantness. If anything, it was bring back some bad experiences.

She pulled back, biting her lower lip. Why did Roy come to do this? She didn't want him, that was for sure.

"Pammy? Can we make this work? Please?" He was holding her small hand, taking his other up to pinch her side, ready to tickle her until she laughed and giggled and it was OK again. Instead, she did something she had never done before.

Pam brought both her hands up and grabbed his, pulling them off her and settling them at his sides.

"No, Roy. It's over." Her voice was surprisingly firm, even though she had never raised her voice at him, never. But now was time for change.

Roy was staring at the cement now, his lower lip twitching. He didn't know what to say, that was for sure. He just knew that Pam was serious.

"Okay."

Pam was nervous, the party was in full swing and Jim was going to be here in about ten minutes, give or take a few. The scene around here was so unforgettable yet totally typical, she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Pam wanted to laugh, because, well, nothing had changed. Nothing. Dwight was walking around, checking to make sure the picnic tables were sturdy enough. Angela was muttering prayers under her breath, while Michael made a face (probably him trying to hold in a laugh) and quickly blurted, "That's what she said!"

Kelly was hanging on Ryan's arm, while he searched helplessly for someone to talk to, Meredith was taking large swigs out of her can of coke, but everyone knew it wasn't Coke she was holding. Kevin was checking Pam's mom out while Oscar scolded him, while Creed slipped a few cupcakes down his sleeves. Everyone had to bring something to pass, so the table was filled with an interesting assortment of food.

Beet salad, cookies, pretzels, m&ms...

No, nothing had changed. And that made her miss her old memories, before everything was like this. Like they had to run off and go to school and become adults and get married and have kids and be responsible for themselves and not screw up. Because Pam didn't know how she would do it without her usual assortment of distinctive personalities. This was what she grew up with, who she had played with, danced with in Wallace's yard, decorated posters in sixth grade with and researched World War II with. These people were weird and sometimes rude and sometimes inappropriate and always head-racking but consistently her friends. They were her childhood.

With the exception of the new kid, Andy. His father had moved here, but Andy was making it clear that he intended to go to Cornell, where he had gotten accepted. He had a habit of singing too often and Dwight hated him. it was obvious that he had only gotten into Cornell because his father had donated a building. His falsetto was constantly being heard throughout the neighborhood. Jim would get a kick out of him.

And then the song came on, the one that was playing when she bumped into him, while walking to the other side of the tree.

_Mrs. Robinson_, by Simon and Garfunkel. A true classic.

_Heaven holds a place for those who pray..._

When she turns and sees him, it's like a dream. He smiles the same and laughs at what his dad says, while his green eyes reflect the light and she can see, really see, that they soak the light like emeralds. Those eyes, those eyes.

She wants to run up and hug him when he sees her, so she does. When she smells the familiar smell that reminds her home, the Jim smell, she inhales deeply and lets it linger for a long time. Their arms are wrapped around each other, and she holds on tight, so he can't go. He breathes into her hair, letting a wave settle in the breeze. For a moment, nothing else exists. It's just them.

_Hey, hey, hey... God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson..._

And he motions to a dark-haired girl, with a sweet smile and a confident look in her eye, saying "Pam, this is Karen. Me and her are kinda...dating." Pam wants to throw up.

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**  
Review, review, review! The ratio for visitors and reviews is horribly screwed up, so just tell me what you thought. It can be a simple "Good job." or "Bad job." Ok, if you didn't like it then tell me why, and if you did then tell me why. I actually checked how many people had favorited this story and realized that some of you haven't reviewed. That's not funny. Just say what you thought. I really want to know.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So yeah. I like this chapter, mostly because we get to see Karen and a little bit of Dwangela. So I really hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry about the shortness. I'm not sure how I'm gonna write it now, so I just need a little time.**

**Disclaimer: I own everything. You weren't expecting that, were you? Yeah, 'cause it's not true.**

* * *

"I'm hungry. What should I try first?" Jim was looking over the buffet table, bringing his bottom lip over his top, surveying the food. He wanted to laugh, because he knew exactly who had brought what. Dwight brought the beet salad, Angela brought the cookies, Kevin brought the bowl of m&ms, Stanley brought the pretzels . . . How typical.

"The tuna sandwiches look good." Karen was looking it over too, wondering how such a random array of food could be arranged.

"Yeah. I'll have that." Jim grabbed a sandwich, taking a bite before setting it on his plate. Meredith winked at him from the other side of the table.

"I brought those." She licked her lips, bringing her eyelids lower. Jim gave a nervous smile.

"Good choice." He was turning to have a seat on the picnic table when he heard a voice behind him.

"Hey, Tuna! I see you went with the tuna! Yeah, great choice, Tuna!" Jim smiled at the guy, who he couldn't exactly place. Where did he come from? And why was he calling him tuna?

"Uh, yeah. I like tuna. Who are you?" Jim was trying to be nice, but he could already tell this guy was irritating.

"Andy Bernard. 18-year-old and soon-to-be Cornell Student." He pushed out his chest, smiling proudly. This guy was a piece of work.

"OK. I'm Jim. This is my girlfriend Karen. Nice to meet you, Andy." He tried to push past him, so he could get to Dwight. Andy blocked his path.

"Cool. Peace out, Tuna." Jim laughed and turned to Karen, who was bringing her eyebrows together and giving him a faint smirk.

"Wow. I mean, wow." Jim kissed her forehead, which made Karen smile more. She craved attention, he had known since they met in the small café in New York.

They made their way to Dwight, in deep conversation with Jim's father, who looked stunned.

"Dwight! Miss me?" His eyes were pure sarcasm, but Dwight didn't pick up on it.

"No." He said it with a firm face and narrowed eyes, like everything else he said to Jim. He squinted his eyes when he saw Karen. "Who are you?"

"Karen. Jim's girlfriend." She reached out her hand to shake his, and gripped hard enough that he was smiling once the handshake was over.

"That is how you shake hands, Jim. It shows power, competence. You could use some of both." Karen gave a little giggle, then frowned when she noticed Pam, standing next to an Indian girl, but softly, longingly, staring at Jim.

Karen tightened her arm around Jim's, taking her focus off Pam and onto what Dwight was saying. Something about the quality of his picnic tables. Her final verdict? Jim is so much better than these people.

XXXX

Pam was listening to Kelly go on and on about how great Karen's shoes were, then suddenly the conversation was on the shoes that Katie Holmes wore when her and Tom . . . it was all a blur, really. Kelly was babbling so fast and so high-pitched that only small dogs from miles away would have been able to keep up. Really.

"Kelly, think I'm gonna go talk to Jim." She left Kelly there, talking about how that was okay and she was going to just talk to Ryan because they were so good together and always had so much to talk about because...

Yeah.

As Pam approached the table, she could hear Dwight talking to Jim about his picnic tables, while Jim nodded and Karen clung to him for dear life. Jeez, talk about attached.

She nervously walked over, laughing with Jim about the absurdity of it all and avoiding the gaze of Karen.

"So, how are you and Roy doing?" Jim didn't care, really. He didn't think it mattered how Roy was doing at all, mostly because Roy was . . . Roy.

"Um, actually I broke up with him. Three days after you left." She was looking at the ground, trying not to bite her lower lip, because it was an awful habit. But when he started talking again, she stopped concentrating. Her upper teeth roamed and dove, pushing into the perfectly applied gloss.

"Oh? Okay." He didn't know what to say anymore, or what to even think. All he knew was that Karen was gripping his forearm hard and Pam was starting to talk again.

"Yeah. And, I, uh, haven't talked to my parents yet, but I got accepted. To Pratt. I don't know what they'll think, so I'm kinda holding off." Jim smiled, genuinely, this time. She got accepted?

"Congratulations. You think you're gonna go?" She was smiling too, making direct eye contact and looking happy.

"I want to. I mean, I really do. And if my parents aren't for it then I'll have to pull the disappearing act like you did." She was still smiling, but his faded at the memory of tears running down his face, almost smudging the note as he tried to calm his trembling fingers. Picking up his duffle bag and guitar, whispering "goodbye" before turning the ignition and driving away, from his whole life.

"Yeah. That'll make you're parents happy." He was grinning again, the memory shoved aside along with his true emotions.

"Oh, totally. But right now I'm focusing more on my happiness. You know, being more assertive. Being open about what I want." She looked directly at him when she said this, and Karen knew exactly what _that _message meant.

Outside the fence, Dwight was talking to Angela.

"How do you like this party?" He was looking right at her, with an intensity that she couldn't hlep but faintly smile at.

"Good. The streamers are in green, though. So, so whorish. I'm sure Pam was helping with the decorating."

"Yes." He was still looking at her, and without warning he was wrapping her arms around her tiny frame, kissing her so passioniately she pulled back.

"My father's here! We can't do this here!" He gave that smile, full of wonder, at her glare.

"Fine. How about we have a meeting later? We can talk about our college plans." She looked at him sternly.

"Fine. But I'm not sure if I have time to make more cookies." And with that, she stalked off, a tiny smirk playing on her lips.

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**Yeah? I couldn't help but shove in a little bit of Dwangela. Not much happened in this chapter, sorry 'bout that. I hope you enjoyed it, though. Please tell me what you thought. Seriously. I have never done Dwangela before. Ever. And I wanna know how the Jam parts were, AND I wanna know what you thought of Andy. Oh, yeah, I also would like to hear you're opinions on Karen. Hey, I wrote this chapter, so I am entitled to a review that's not just "Awesome! Update soon!" Sure, those are good too. But if you're willing to give me good feedback then do it! But really, anything's fine.**


	8. Chapter 8

**OK, I put a lot of thought in to this chapter. Not much happens, but there is a sad flashback from Pam. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I did too, despite the little bit of angst. but hey, I'm really trying to follow the storyline. So, without further ado, Chapter 8.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the office or NBC. I DO own Pam's flashback, though.**

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"Yeah, I'll take the guest room." Karen was sleeping at her cousins house, since they lived in a tiny town right outside of Scranton. Jim was sleeping in his old bedroom, which made her angrier and angrier with every thought or him and that red-head meeting up. Why did they have to live so close?

It didn't help that "Bees" was totally in love with Jim. Or at least not over him. She had been so assured that nothing would get in the way of them, since Jim told her that Pam denied him. Rejected him. Broke his heart.

But when she said those words, those obvious words, Karen's stomach did cartwheels. Pam said that she broke up with her long-time boyfriend _three days_ after Jim left. Anyone who didn't understand the fact that she broke up with that guy for Jim was stupid. Karen didn't feel any better when she realized that Pam and Jim had spent the majority of their lives together. Karen was not trying to be too possessive, but it was hard not too. She was pretty much a goner for him.

The only problem was that she had feelings Pam was a goner too.

XXXX

Pam lay in bed that night, remembering the day's events. Jim had a girlfriend. A possessive, totally and disgustingly gorgeous girlfriend. How was she supposed to compete with that?

But she was. She had too, if she wanted Jim back. She had been so positive that he would be alone, missing home and always thinking of her. But he wasn't. He had a girlfriend. Please!

She knew that she had turned him down flat, left him for the worse guy. She knew that, only days too late. Days. The problem was, that something as little as days can ruin you're entire destiny.

When she turned over, she saw the flashlight and knew what she had to do.

Pam picked it up and flipped the switch, aiming it towards Jim's bedroom window.

XXXX

Jim couldn't stop the thoughts, reeling through his mind. He didn't think seeing her would be so hard. He didn't know that he still had feelings so strong. He thought that Karen would protect him from thinking that he still liked Pam.

He didn't expect to break down so quickly at the sight of her.

Wrong. He didn't expect to break down at all.

But when she hugged him, her small arms wrapping around him and the smell of her hair sweeping his nostrils, blocking out all thoughts and means of functioning, he knew that he couldn't stay here too long.

Karen, clearing her throat with a little _ahem_ brought him out of his trance, but he couldn't mistake the way Pam's smile fell when she saw Karen. Or the way Karen was hanging on his arm, like a starved monkey. Everyone noticed. Pam did.

When he found out that Pam broke up with Roy, three days after he left, he realized that she did it for him. All of it. She was wearing a nice outfit and a different hairstyle and lip gloss because he was coming, and she wasn't bringing Roy. It was such a relief.

Jim had to get out of this town soon, though, before he left Karen for Pam. He loved Karen. He loved Karen. He loved Karen.

He was repeating these lines until he saw the familiar light flash inside his bedroom.

XXXX

Pam had small tears in her eyes, while she turned on that flashlight. She always cried when she remembered the first time she got drunk at that stupid party.

_They were at Meredith's house, which was pretty big and full of booze. Her parents were gone for the weekend, and Roy had insisted that they go. Together._

_Jim showed up too, mostly because Pam went. He sat on the couch with a few basketball players who didn't want to get caught partying. The season was in full swing, so getting caught now would screw everything up._

_Pam followed Roy around, grabbing a beer and taking a swig. It tasted worse than cough medicine, but she gulped it down anyways._

_Three more beers later, she had lost track of Roy and didn't recognize anyone here. Meredith lived on the outskirts of town, so she couldn't walk home. Even if she could, she wouldn't be able to find her way. _

_She wandered through the crowded house, stumbling and calling Roy's name. When she passed a guy she didn't know, he groped her until she stumbled away, leaning against the wall for support._

_A sigh of relief erupted from her when she found the front door, grabbing that door knob and turning it, the rush of cold winter air. She had to get out of here, though._

_She didn't have her coat, the cold air sent goose bumps rippling along her soft skin, she shivered so much it took the breath out of her. She cried, tears warming her cheeks and her face turning red. Cried and cried and cried. Where was Roy? Why did she even came here in the first place?_

_Her sniffles were loud, little sobs and tears and cold and her mind blurry from all the alcohol. She shouldn't have come to this party, full of juniors and seniors. She was only a sophomore._

_Then he came out, walking over to his Toyota when he heard the muffled sob. She couldn't keep them quiet enough. The look of shock on his face when he saw her there, in the cold, drunk and crying. Jim picked her up, setting her in the passenger seat and buckling her in while she cried._

_The warm blast of heat made her functional again, and soon she stopped crying. His hand crept over, opening the glove compartment and pulling out some tissues. She blew her nose and wiped the mascara from her cheeks, before leaning over and giving him a drunken kiss. The look of surprise that crossed his face when her lips pressed against his cheek made her giggle, before bringing her hand to her mouth._

_A little moan escaped, then he pulled over, leaning across her and shoving the door open so she could puke all over the side of the road. _

_When she shut the door, it was silent. He pulled into her driveway, helped her to her bedroom, and left. _

XXXX

Jim watched the light, swirling and dancing across his wall and ceiling, turning on and off, telling him to answer. He couldn't answer, though. He couldn't get attached to her like he did before.

Jim turned around and closed his eyes, begging God to help him block out the memories of _her._

XXXX

Pam sighed. He wasn't going to answer. Not now, not ever.

**Yes, a little angst my friends. If you review, you might get some sort of 'beach games' confession soon. If you have any ideas on how I can execute that, then just drop it in a review. **

**Remember: In one month is the Season premier of The Office! I'm just shaking with excitement!**


	9. Chapter 9

**OK! Sorry for the wait, people. I have been busy with my other story and I was a little confused about where to go with this one, but I finally cranked out a chapter! Thanks to ktface3 for the ah-mazing beta! I seriously thank God for her guidance. I also want to thank you guys for the awesome reviews. Its what keeps me going.**

**PS; I have some (alleged) spoilers for season five in my profile, so check em' out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the office or NBC...**

* * *

Pam looked up, her expression falling at the sight before her. Jim was in his old bedroom, only his desk was turned the wrong way. She could see the back of his head, his neck, that messy brown hair. She was so frustrated that she contemplated moving hers the other way too.

They had always had their desks facing each other. Always. So when she would do her homework or draw, she could look up and see him, doing his homework or writing a new song. He would automatically look up too, because he just knew. They could feel their eyes on each other. It wasn't a sixth sense or a special connection or that feeling you get when someone stares at you. It was just a motion. They wouldn't even think when their heads arched up to look out the window and would see the other smiling. It was what made homework bearable, and it was what inspired their songs and sketches. It was what it was.

But now he was turned the other way, leaving her with a frown and an empty piece of paper. If he had known that she was always drawing him, he wouldn't have done that.

She pursed her lips at what was there on that white sheet. Nothing. But she could draw him. She had memories to draw from; she didn't need his faint figure across the street in the second-story window, sitting directly across from her. She could draw Jim from memory.

She knew the way he hunched over his desk. How that one piece of hair would always get in the way on the left side of his right eye. How he would think while he wrote, occasionally landing on a funny memory, and smiling at the thought. How his smile would form a lopsided curve on his face.

She knew the way his cheeks reached up when he was pondering something, she knew how many laugh lines were surrounding his soft lips.

Pam giggled, remembering how his legs were getting too long for that desk by the end of ninth grade, but he kept it there anyways so he could look up and see her.

She felt one, lonesome tear roll down her cheek. They should've kissed on graduation night.

The tears kept falling as she kept drawing. The way his eyelashes laid atop one another when he closed his eyes, resting gently on the soft flesh beneath his eyes. How he would sometimes smile in his sleep, so she could always tell what his dreams were like. All because of that smile.

They had never been involved romantically, but Pam had seen him sleep plenty of times. Especially in her senior year, they would watch movies when Roy went out partying. She liked watching movies with Jim best. He always let her pick, even if it was Edward Scissorhands for the fifth time in a row.

She sighed. It had been awhile since they watched that movie together. It had been awhile since they watched any movie together. That's what she couldn't stand.

XXXX

Jim sat at that desk, trying so hard to write out a song, but it was nearly impossible. Karen had come over, and upon seeing that his legs barely fit under his desk, told him he should turn it around. He had let her, because there wasn't much reason to let it face the window anyways.

He had always kept it that way, no matter how tall he got, so he could look up at her when he did his homework. So he could get a taste of that curly auburn hair again.

It was either that, or feel her soft gaze on him. He always knew when she was looking at him. Or vice versa. It was what it was.

He sat at that desk, trying to crank out a song with no results, and couldn't believe when he felt those eyes on him. Burning a hole in his neck, he knew she was looking at him. He knew she was probably frowning, wondering why he would change the direction of his desk. He wanted to go over there and tell her why, so she wouldn't feel hurt. But he didn't. He stayed in his chair and kept his eyes focused on the empty piece of paper.

Karen, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, babbling about whatever, didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

He wouldn't tell her, even if she cared.

XXXX

The block party that night was pure torture. Pam tried to have fun and danced with one of Kelly's cousins, while Jim and Karen stood together smiled at each other. Michael brought a girlfriend along, some girl named Carol, who had dressed up as a slutty cheerleader. Michael had told her it was a costume party as a joke, but she took it seriously.

So while Pam danced with a random guy, dorkily waving her arms in the air, her peripheral vision kept distracting her. It was like blinking, flashing, alarms going off in her head, every time Jim looked at Karen. Which was all night, so she had a headache by the time the block party was over.

That was the worst part. She was hurting, but it went deeper than emotional. It was a physical pain, making her head hurt and her eyes blurry, pounding, pounding, pounding, with every step she took. It hurt.

She wondered what Jim would think if he knew that he was making her feel this way.

XXXX

Dwight and Angela were not talking during the block party.

She had six cats, which her father approved of. There was Sprinkles, Cupcake, Miracle, (to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ) Mary, (His mother) John (the baptist) and her latest one, Dwight.

Her mother had found an abandoned kitten on the side of her road, in need of a home. Angela promptly took it in, feeding it her special mixture of whole milk and liquid animal vitamins. After getting permission to keep it, she named it after Dwight.

Imagine her dismay, however, when she brought the cat to the block party to show to Dwight, only to be told by him it was not worthy of his name.

He told her that the cat didn't give anything to anyone and wasn't very strong, and she didn't like that answer. Not at all. Naming a cat was special, if not something that Jesus Christ would supervise. She was making a big sacrifice naming it after a mere mortal and not naming it something like Noah. Couldn't Dwight see it meant he was special to her?

Dwight, seeing she was angry, raced around and to show her that he didn't really mind, and that she could still call the cat Dwight. But she had walked away, finally giving up and going home early. She took that cat with her, intending to give it that meaningful life it deserved, even if Dwight thought it was incompetent. She would show him what incompetent really meant.

**Yeah...so tell me what you thought.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the long stretch of time between updates, I'm a little unsure of what to do with the story. This chapter focuses a little more on Dwangela, but don't worry, you get your Jam in here too!**

**Here's to anyone who remembers my favorite scene in the episode (from season four) Money. It's when Jim and Pam hear the moaning and Jim walks to Dwight's room to find out what it is. When Jim knocks, Dwight says 'Come in. Did you have another nightmare?' When he sees Jim, he then says 'Oh. I thought you were Mose.'**

**Jim, confused, asks, 'Mose has nightmares?" Dwight responds with "Yes. Ever since the storm."**

**It was a little sad but made me laugh. I just thought you guys should know exactly when inspired this update. Hehe.**

**Disclaimer I don't own The Office or NBC...**

"Whoa, what happened to Dwight?" Pam sat on the chair next to Ryan, watching Dwight being comforted by Jim. It was funny to watch, since she didn't ever think it would happen, but Dwight seemed devastated. Ryan shook his head.

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes, getting up in search of someone else. Pam stared at the ground, Ryan could be such an ass sometimes. Kelly ran up to him.

"Ohmigod, Ryan! Dwight's moving away from Scranton. I mean, he'll like still be close but he's going to this beet farm that his aunt and uncle used to own!" She jumped when she heard Pam's voice.

"Why? Why is he moving?" Pam couldn't take her eyes off Dwight's face.

"I don't know. Ask him. Hey, Ryan, there's like these little pink cupcakes that I made and OHMIGOD, their fat free! You will totally love them!" Kelly grabbed Ryan's hand, dragging him off to the treats table. It was another one of Michael's parties that his mother always threw. He didn't have many friends so she was always throwing parties. The only reason everyone went was because if they ignored the invitations, his mom would just throw more parties.

Pam walked slowly up to Dwight, smiling gently. "What's up, Dwight?" He lifted his head, erupting in a little moan.

"His aunt and uncle died. In the storm." Jim looked up at her, his eyes filled with pity. This was the first time they had talked in a long time. Pam was about to smile, but then remembered the situation they were in.

"Wait, the storm? This really bad storm we had last night?" There had been a bad storm, but not bad enough to _die_ in.

"Yes, Pamela. My aunt and uncle went out in the storm to make sure the beets survived and ended up drowning in a creek. It was overflowing." He lowered his head, leaving Jim and Pam to question each other with their eyes.

"So what's gonna happen, Dwight?" Pam laid her hand on his. He looked up again.

"I'll have to move to the farm. I need to take care of the beets and my cousin Mose." He said all this dutifully, like he would do it because it was his job. Pam sighed. This meant that Dwight wouldn't go to college. He would live and work here, for the rest of his life.

"Ooh, yeah. Mose." Jim smiled at this one. Mose was a little on the strange side. Dwight had taken Mose to school for show-and-tell in first grade.

"Yes. Mose. I'm packing up tonight and moving in tomorrow. Mose needs someone around often. He'll be tortured with nightmares for the rest of his life." Dwight's eyes were fixed in front of him, steel. His gaze was cold. "I have to go." Jim and Pam watched silently as he walked away from the party.

"Wow. I feel kinda bad for him." Pam shook her head, staring at the ground.

"Me too. Just think-he'll be here for the rest of his life, probably."

It was strange, not laughing with Jim. Usually, they would be making fun of Dwight, but today was different. It was so much different.

"Where's Karen?" Pam played with the thread on her sleeve.

"Out. With Phyllis. Phyllis said she wanted to spend some 'girl-time' with Karen, so I let them go."

"Oh. How are you and Karen?" Pam knew this wasn't her business. She knew that the only way she'd be happy was if he said that he and Karen weren't doing well, which was horrible but true. She knew that chances are, they were doing great. She knew that she would hate his answer but he couldn't stop torturing herself. She knew and yet she couldn't.

"Fine. Really. I'm not sure how she meshes with everything else, but we're doing great." He flashed a smile Pam's way, ignoring the fake happiness in hers.

**XXXX**

"It's so nice we get t hang out together. I'm really happy your with Jim. I thought it would take forever for him to get over Pam." Phyllis kept her eyes on the road, humming along with a girly pop song on the radio.

"What? Oh, Pam. Yeah, he told me that he just had a crush on her, but she didn't return it. It wasn't even serious." Karen felt confident saying those words. Jim had told her time and time again that he didn't still have feelings for Pam.

"Oh, no. It wasn't a crush. He's been head-over-heels for her since we were like, seven. Not kidding." Phyllis didn't feel bad saying this, she genuinely thought that Jim was over Pam. Okay, she didn't. But he was with Karen now, so why did it matter?

"Wh-what?" Karen felt the pit in her stomach, her hopes and doubts falling through, her breath catching in her throat.

"Yeah. They met in this one guys yard, we always went there to listen to his radio. Jim and Pam met and...well, they were best friends since. Never more, I don't think." Phyllis was completely unaware of Karen's hands, her fingers, picking at her cuticles.

"Oh." It was silent after that. In the car sat two quiet girls adorned with heavy makeup and teased hair.

**XXXX**

"Dwight. I'm so sorry, I overreacted with the whole cat thing." Angela sat in a lawn chair at the local park, stroking Dwight's hair. His head was slumped against her chest.

"It's okay, Monkey." She frowned at the way his bottom lip pouched out slightly, maybe Dwight had finally met his limit.

"I'll be praying for you. And Mose. I can help you with the house stuff, like cleaning and cooking." She knew that Dwight could get along alone, but it was hard seeing him like this.

"Really?" His voice held nothing but pure love and adoration. He lifted his head, looking her right in the eye. She smiled, that mysterious, Angela smile that only found it's way out of the shadows of her pale skin when he was around. He loved coaxing out that smile, with his intense eyes and serious persona.

"Yes. I'll even help you find a sufficient cat. They are good, you know. For barn mice." He coldn't help but agree on that one, and together they talked about his future on The Shrute Beet Farm. Together, they talked. They talked like everything would be okay.

Would said it wouldn't?

**Hey-o, how'd you like it? I'll give you the next chapter when I see some reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yeah, I finally updated! You guys are gonna be totally satisfied with this one, because the universe was completely working for Jim and Pam. I'm not sure how well it's written, but that's for you guys to decide. By the way, your reviews are what keep me going. If you want a conclusion and/or epilogue, (I have an awesome one planned) then keep 'em coming!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

Karen Filipelli was the definition of cool, almost.

She was the kind of girl that Pam would have only dreamed of being. No wonder Jim was so much more into Karen.

Her hair was perfect, nicely styled and sophisticated. Her wardrobe was different than the clothes you usually find in Scranton, making everyone even more jealous. Her nails were flawlessly manicured and makeup meticulously applied.

Of course, she wasn't quite awesome. Pam cringed at the fact that Karen thought (knew?) That she was better than everyone that Jim had grown up with, and even had learn to love like his own screwed up little family. Karen just didn't understand. Sure, she was way smarter and more respectable than Roy was, but she still thought that she was better than a lot of people, like Roy did as captain of the football team. It made Pam sick to see how she acted towards Kevin and Meredith. They were nice and just as important to the group of friends as anyone else.

So, on a warm day in August, Pam lost it. Well, almost. It was more of a startling declaration. The kids had been hanging out all week, since it was only so long until they all left for college. Kevin, Oscar, and Angela were all heading towards the accounting type of position, Michael was going to work for a paper company in Scranton. Pam was heading for Pratt, and since Dwight was staying in Scranton, he had decided to follow Michael to Dunder-Mifflin. It was basically a failing paper company. Nobody cared about it at the school's job fair and they didn't supply the high-school's paper. Rumor has it that one of the salesmen is dating a girl in the high-school. Weird.

Jim had changed his mind. Him and Karen were leaving for a different place in Connecticut where they would become salespeople while moving up in the company that was located there.

Pam hated that. She knew that he would have rather gone back to New York to pursue his dream of teaching guitar lessons. It was heartbreaking to see him leave for a company he would hate because Karen had convinced him that it was more "stable" than what he had originally had in mind. Now he knew what it was like for her putting up with Roy and her parents all those years. She's been told forever that art was an impractical thing to do for the rest of her life, but she still was out there, chasing her dreams. He's thought she was crazy to consider anything else, and here he was, giving up on everything.

When the group of kids got together at the beach for one of their last days together, Pam had finally told everyone what was on her mind. And she did it with a pounding headache.

"Hey, everyone. I just- I need to say something. You guys haven't respected me. At all, not through high-school and- I'm sick of it. Jim, I left Roy for you. He had been looking for apartments, we were gonna move in together, I was with him for three years. I know, he was a mistake. And you're with Karen now and- _God_, whatever. That's okay. I guess I just mean that I miss you. We're not even friends, and you always told me that I shouldn't listen to Roy and my parents. You said that I should apply to Pratt. Now you just... well, you let Karen talk you out of your dream, and we both know what you really want and _jeez,_ I have a major headache. I think I'm dehydrated."

Everyone sat in silence, listening to the sound of her feet hitting the ground while she ran for the coolers to get a bottled water. Jim shook his head when Michael sent him an exaggerated wink.

"Pathetic," Dwight muttered, apparently fully recovered after the death of his aunt and uncle.

XXXX

He couldn't believe she had said all of that. He pondered it, everything, while Karen babbled on in his ear. He couldn't hear her, though. He was only listening to his whirring thoughts.

Maybe he was being hypocritical. He had told Pam for years that Roy and her parents were wrong. He'd convinced her to apply to Pratt, he'd encouraged her and now he was going to just decide suddenly that his dream was unstable and impractical? Hell, he'd been telling Pam that those were stupid reasons to quit on something and here he was, ruining what he had partially come to New York for. Karen was still talking, telling him that Pam was wrong, she was probably a little wasted, who knew, blah blah blah.

He just didn't care anymore, though. He honestly wasn't sure what in the hell he was going to do, and just when he had thought that he had a stable future ahead of him, Pam had to say something.

He'd done the same thing. It wasn't any different. Only now, he realized that on graduation night, he hadn't misinterpreted anything, and she wasn't doing that now.

Maybe, though, this was all wrong. Maybe she was just being a little over-dramatic, maybe going to Connecticut was the right decision, _maybe maybe maybe_. Who knew anymore?

XXXX

She gulped her water, trying to calm the light-headed-ness that was making her head swim. She was dehydrated, that was for sure. She was also happy. It took her years to just say it, but who really cared? Well, he probably did. Karen was ready to rip her head off, that was for sure. Why did things have to get so complicated?

XXXX

Three days later, he had made his decision. Karen found another company, in New York, that was looking for young interns. She'd thought that if she found a company closer to Scranton, then maybe he wouldn't return to his old dream of guitar lessons. It had worked. He was carefully sorting through old memories, setting little pictures in the cardboard box in front of him. God, how come he had so many pictures of Pam?

Him and Pam at eight years old, standing in front of a sand castle. Him and Pam eating popcicles, with purple surrounding their mouths. Him and Pam, while she proudly showed off the awesome painting she'd made last year. Pam, giving the camera a "rock on" sign after he'd made the winning shot in junior year, getting their basketball team to the state finals. He wanted to return to that moment, when he carefully arched his arm, watched the orange ball swoosh through the net. He remembers, he could hear her cheer out of everyone else's. When the team mobbed him, surrounding him with sweaty players, he could still see her, jumping up and down, cheering. God, those were the days.

Then he found the new one, he'd never seen it before.

It was Pam, of course. She was smiling, obviously taking the picture herself. She was wearing that light-pink hoodie that made her hair and eyes stand out, the radiant smile making him grin. The little date on the back showed that it had only been taken yesterday. Underneath that was some writing.

**Don't forget me when you're famous!**

**Love, Pam**

It was then he knew. He knew that he couldn't leave with Karen, not when he knew that it wasn't over, not by a long shot. He still had a chance.

He'd sat there, tapping his foot nervously. He had to tell Karen something when she got back with the sandwiches.

**Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright, here's your last real chapter. I hope you like it, I worked really hard on it. I'm pretty sure I cranked out four copies of it and I liked this one mostest.**

**I know that you guys want me to update sooner, and I sincerely apologize, but I've been super busy. If it makes you feel any better, when I'm not writing I'm thinking about what I'm going to write in the next chapters so...there you go. Hope you enjoy, I tried my best.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Office, or these known moments from The Job.**

Pam sat on her porch swing, remembering. She loved remembering, but at the same time despised it at times like these.

He'd made his decision, obviously. He was gone. She shut her eyes, blocking out his house across the street. The upstairs window, right side, in perfect vision of her window. They'd spent so many summers under the tree in her front yard. He'd walk over, greeting her with a warm smile, every single day. When the neighbor kids got suspicious, he'd told them is was because of the jelly beans Pam always had at her house. They'd eaten them together, combining them and making up new flavors, trying to create the most disgusting and the most exotic.

Talking, just talking. About nothing and everything, like her dreams of having a terrace and her love of painting, his dreams of happiness and his love of guitar. About how the sun shined and how neither of them wanted to grow up, not quite yet. In seventh grade she told him about her dream, the one she had of finding Never-Never-Land. Right under that tree, she'd told him. He'd laughed, telling her that if she waited, she'd find Peter-Pan at her windowsill. She'd told him that if he waited long enough, he'd become a 'lost boy'. He told her that didn't make sense, and she'd responded with sticking out her tongue. _How old are you_? That's what he had said. God, how she missed those days.

She remembered painting with him. Well, he hadn't helped her, but he'd stayed right by her while she made the best abstract painting the school's art teacher had ever seen last year. Every color had to symbolize something, and she'd based them off of their friends. Michael was green, Phyllis was purple...

She remembered the basketball game last year, when they were losing by two points with ten seconds left. If they won this game, they would make it to the state finals for the first time in twenty years. He'd shot a three-pointer with eight seconds left. She'd never screamed so loud, not in her entire life. Nor had she ever pissed Roy off that much, either. She'd passed up going to his house, instead choosing to watch the "girly men" play "girly ball". He never was the best in tasteless insulting nicknames. Either way, she'd gone against Roy's wishes (and her parents, she had been grounded) but still had one of the most exciting moments of her entire life. Watching Jim become one of the coach's favorite players in his junior year was enough to make her break the rules.

She remembered eighth grade, when they hadn't spoken for a whole month because of the horrifying incident. She'd developed her full chest before all the other girls, and in eighth grade their class had built a time-capsule. Michael had stolen her bra (from where, she wasn't sure) and showed it to all of the guys, before sticking it in the time capsule when the teacher wasn't looking. He'd blamed Jim, and Pam was so pissed off and embarrassed that she'd believed him. It wasn't until Phyllis had called her, saying that Kelly had told her that Ryan had told her that it was Michael who'd taken her bra.

Oh, the eighth-grade grape vine.

It had been the loneliest month of her entire life. Worse and worse, every day, until she'd gotten the call and ran to Jim's house, climbing up the brick wall that led up to his bedroom, smiling bashfully when his arm stuck out and helped her into his room, pulling her on to his bed. A million "I'm sorry's" later, along with about two billion tears, he'd given her about ten hugs, enough to make her grin again.

They'd eaten jelly beans while watching Grease afterwards. Their guilty pleasure movie. _Their._

Her eyes snapped open when she heard her door creak open.

"Need to talk about it?" Her mother sat down next to her, laying a hand on her knee. Pam put on a fake smile.

"No. Not really."

"Oh. How do you think he's going to do at his new job interview?" The words were like ice, freezing the warm memories in her mind and torturing her with their cold presence. She somehow managed to keep the fake smile on her face.

"No. I'm sure he'll do fine with Karen and the new job. They'll totally hire him. He's really smart, and way overqualified with whatever he wants to be. Everybody loves Jim." The words _loves_ stung her tongue, like the water in the water-fountains at the high-school that tasted like metal.

"Me and Jim, we'll always be friends. And if I don't see him again, then-" Pam was cut off by footsteps in her grass, crinkling the leaves under Their tree.

XXXX

He didn't mean to find that picture of Pam, the one she'd taken of herself. He didn't mean to let his mind be hushed by his heart, he didn't mean to. But he did, he knew it wasn't over and he knew that he couldn't give up, not yet. There was a chance she could tell him no, she didn't have it in her to try again, but the opposite could happen too. These things had a way of surprising themselves. She could say yes, she could say that she didn't care what happened, just so they could try again, but he wasn't sure what in the hell would happen. He just knew that it wasn't fair, any of it. Either way, someone would get hurt.

Jim was proud of himself, he'd handled it as good as he could. He calmly told Karen that it wouldn't work, it was over. That it had been over, since the start. He'd been healing when they rushed into a relationship. He let her pick up his sub sandwich, and hurl it at the bathroom mirror. He let her cover the bathroom in deli ham. He told the neighbors that everything was okay when they asked about the yelling. He then jumped into his car and drove faster than he had ever driven to Scranton, Pennsylvania.

He kept his eyes up and walked to where he saw her, sitting on her front porch swing with her mother.

When they both looked up upon hearing his footsteps, he'd already stopped in front of them.

"Hey, Pam." He then turned to her mom. "Sorry," he apologized for interrupting their conversation. "Are you free for dinner tonight?" She blinked, stunned, for a moment, then without any emotion...

"Yes."

"Good, then... it's a date." He turned around, walking back to his car while she stared at the ground. Then, she turned back to her mom. "Sorry, what was I saying?"

**Ahhh...was it good or not? Please review, and then you'll get the crazy awesome epilogue I have planned...I'm begging you.**


	13. Epilogue

**Wow. It has definitely been an awesome ride (that's what she said). Like other stories, though, it must come to an end. I recently read the first chapter and I sincerely hope I've improved since then. **

**The epilogue is first a collection of big moments for Jim and Pam, then what's going on in the present. Then there is the extra stuff which basically is what's going on with everyone else. I hope it's easy to follow.**

**XXXX**

"Hey!" Pam ran over and hugged Jim. He was silent as she took his coat and threw it on her desk chair in her college dorm. She noticed his absence of words. "What's wrong?" she asked. He stared at the floor. "Jim?"

"Oh, uh," he stopped and kneeled on the carpet. Pam felt her breath hitch in her throat.

"Oh my God." She knew exactly what was going on when he pulled out the velvet box. His nervous smile made her eyes become larger than before.

"I know we said to wait until your term was over, but... I couldn't wait." A few passing students stopped in the hall way to peek in the door.

"Oh my God." Jeez, couldn't she even utter something else? What was wrong with her?

"Pam, will you marry me?" His words were shaky and nervous, but bursting with promises and hopes, and a clear note of fear.

She hand her hand over her mouth, gasping, tears beginning to fall. He shifted on his knee.

"Sooo?" She noticed him biting his lip.

"Yes. Yes!" She nodded, giggling when he stood up and picked her up with his kiss.

"I love you," he said quietly while her lips buzzed against his. The group of students standing outside the door cheered. She ran her fingers through that hair, his cheeks, lips feeling his smile.

**XXXX**

"You may kiss the bride." The feel of her new ring was felt on the back of his neck when she grabbed ahold of him, squealing against the kiss when he dipped her. She could hear the cheering of her bridesmaids, he felt a pat on his back from his brother.

The first dance at the reception was like getting an exclusive peek into the future. In his eyes, she saw a day at the park, she saw them tangled in the sheets, she saw him reminding her to take her arthritis meds, she saw him laughing after one of their grandchildren did something adorable.

In her eyes, he saw the same.

**XXXX**

"Oh, I get it! You think our marriage is missing something!" She let her palm fall flat on their kitchen counter, slapping and making the sound echo through the kitchen. The silence that followed was stained with her sobs.

"I don't mean that, okay Pam? I really don't. I just don't want you to think that we need kids. We can't keep getting our hopes up. I'm sorry." He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She turned around and let her head disappear in his shoulder. Together they cried for what might never happen.

They'd been trying for eight years, but still nothing. Not one missed period, not one nursery to decorate.

**XXXX**

"So you just pee on the stick and it tells you whether your pregnant or not?" Jim sat on the bathroom counter, reading the instructions on the pregnancy tests they'd bought.

"Yeah. Dwight told me that this is the best brand to buy, but I bought one of another brand too." She giggled lightly.

"Dwight told you? Pam, tell me again why you keep exchanging emails with Dwight?" She rolled her eyes at him.

"He happens to know an unnatural lot about things like pregnancy tests. Along with fixing toasters." She smirked at him, taking in the embarrassed look on his face. He hated that fact that he wasn't very capable of fixing appliances.

"Shut up. I doubt Dwight even uses a toaster."

"Oh, but he knows how they work."

They sat on the edge of the tub, teasing each other and laughing, waiting for the timer to go off. A few tears fell from her eyes, she was nervous. She didn't want to get her hopes up.

_Ding_. They both jumped, lunging towards the tests. She beat him, staring.

"Positive, positive, positive." She looked up, a slightly puzzled look on her face. "So, do we assume their right, or do we have to wait until we go the the doctor's office to celebrate?" His eyes sparkled.

"We better wait."

**XXXX**

"Yes, Mrs. Halpert, you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations." Her doctor, Mr. Hoven, smiled. "I'll give you two some time to talk this over."

Pam had tears falling before he even left.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Jim!" Her squeals ricocheted off the tile in the room.

"We're having a baby." His eyes didn't move. He was in a daze. Her squeal brought him out of his trance.

She saw tears in his eyes too.

"We're having a baby," she agreed. Her head fell back, a sigh escaping her lips. "I'm scared."

"Me too."

**XXXX**

"Wait, what?" Pam asked. She blinked her eyes, trying to clear her head.

"Twins. I see two of them. Sometimes it takes a few months, to notice. Sometimes, you don't notice until you go into labor."

"Two?" Jim had a lop-sided grin on his face. Pam pulled him closer for a kiss.

"Now I'm even more scared."

"Me too."

**XXXX**

She laid her head on the pillow after waking up. He approached her as soon as she came to.

"You're alive."

"Shut up."

"No, I'm serious. You were screaming, then I heard a baby, excuse me, _babies_ crying, then you're asleep." She sighed while he mercifully teased her.

"I'd like to see you give birth to two kids at once," she said with a grin. He smirked.

"Pam, I'm not sure what to say to that-"

"I hate you."

"I love you."

They shared a delicious silence before he wrapped his arms around her in a big hug.

The kind of hug that gives her a fever.

"How are they?" she asked as soon as he let go, reluctantly.

"Great. The nurse is gonna bring them in when she decides your ready. You held them before, but you were barely awake."

"I know. I was just scared. And in pain. And tired." She laid her head down, breathing deeply.

"You did great. I was impressed."

"Shut up."

"Stop telling me that. You really did great. Here comes the nurse." They both beamed as she handed them the two boys.

"What about names?" She giggled when he turned to her. They been think about names forever, but couldn't land on any.

"I have no idea. You have any ideas?"

Suddenly, something inside her clicked into place.

"Oh my God."

"What?" he asked, eyes big. "You thought of names?" She blushed.

"Well, this probably sounds totally stupid, but... when I was a kid, my mom had a miscarriage. She was going to have twins. We didn't find out the sex of the babies, but..."

"Did you have any names for the babies?" he asked. She smiled again.

"We had two girl names picked out, along with two boy names. If she had two boys, she wanted to name them Drew And William." He smiled, holding the little boy in his arms.

"I like them. How about this one is Drew?"

She looked down at the other little boy resting in her arms.

"And William."

**XXXX**

As Pam settled into the couch, the two boys settled beside her. As five-year-olds, they proved to be quite a team in playing pranks on their mother and playing basketball with their father. She often wondered why they were basically raising two new Jim Halperts.

She jumped when a block sailed through the air, landing on the top shelf across the room. Drew gasped.

"William Scott, what are you doing?" She had taken up the habit of calling them by their full names when they did something wrong. Her mother did it too.

"Ooooh, Will. You're in trouble!" Drew yelled. Pam turned back to him.

"Drew Blake, what have I told you abut taunting?" she asked. He bowed his head in shame. Her last words were cut off.

The faint kicking felt in her stomach made her heart patter. The two boys grinned.

"Is the baby kickin', Mommy? Is she?" they both asked. Pam answered by taking their sticky hands and laying them on her belly.

"Yeah, she is."

"That's our little sister?" Drew said excitedly. William nodded.

"Of course it is, silly!"

Jim proudly watched from the doorway, chuckling in the way that only a father could.

**XXXX**

"Ugh ugh ugh!" Jim jumped as a plate sailed down the stairs, shattering at the bottom. An angry teenager's cry followed.

Slowly he walked up the stairs, prepared for the fight he would have to help resolve.

"What's going on?" He asked. Emma threw open her bedroom door.

"They put my makeup in jell-o! A_gain_!" she yelled. Jim barely managed to hold back a smile as he heard laughter from behind the other bedroom door.

"Okay. Boys, come out here."

They stood in the hallway, the tension charging the atmosphere.

"This is the third time, and it wasn't funny the first two times either!" She stormed off when Jim joined her older brothers in laughing. The three guys were interrupted by Pam.

"What happened? And why is there a shattered plate at the bottom of the stairs accompanied by jell-o and... cosmetics?"

"They put my stuff in the jell-o again!" came a voice from Emma's bedroom.

"Guys, come on. I know that you all think this is funny," she paused to smack Jim on the arm, "but it isn't. Those are her things that your putting in jell-o. What if she killed the python you guys have living under your bed?" Pam asked. The two boys exchanged looks of shock.

Mom was _not_ supposed to know about the snake.

**XXXX**

And as for the rest...

Michael married Jan after years of working together. She fulfilled his wish of have many kids. They have four of them, not quite one-hundred but he's happy nonetheless.

Dwight married Angela a few years after graduating from college. He has a full-time job working the beet farms and teaching their two sons how to manage it. She has two beet-loving Christian boys, just like she always dreamed of.

Ryan married Kelly after much on-and-off dating. Despite hating her pop music, he dated several other girls and found the absence of it sad. They have five kids, and yes, she has an SUV with three rows of seats.

Phyllis met Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration while buying a mini-fridge for her college dorm. He asked her out and as they say, the rest is history. They still reside in Scranton, have a little girl, and she is the top salesperson at Vance Refrigeration.

Stanley met Terri after divorcing his first wife and live in Scranton. He once swore that he'd never work under the thumb of Michael Scott, but some of the stuff you say in high-school change, a lot.

Oscar had a journey of self-realization two years after college. At the age of twenty-si, he told his therapist that he was gay. It turns out, his therapist who helped him along the way is a homosexual too. They live together and take yearly vacations to Europe.

Kevin got engaged to Stacey, but after she broke up wit him, he fell in love with Scranticity's biggest fan. Sarah, her name was. They have one little boy.

Meredith divorced her husband and now lives with her son, Jake, in Scranton.

Creed works as a janitor in the same high-school he attended. He sells marijuana and fake IDS from his janitor closet, and regularly sits in on the Spanish lessons.

Toby got divorced from his wife and quit his job in the same year, but only moved to New York. He now owns art galleries and shows a lot of interest in literature.

Karen left for New York too and met her husband. They have two children, both girls. She works as a social worker.

Andy tours the country, singing with his surprisingly in-demand a-capella group. He doesn't have a steady girlfriend, but "hangs out" with the many girls he meets on the road. Groupies, if you will.

Jim and Pam got married two years after they were both out of college. One year after marriage, they tried having children. Nine years later, they gave birth to twin boys. Their next child was a girl named Emma Jane, named after "Emma Jane Emiliana", the woman that Pam wrote the article in the school newspaper about. Two months after Emma was born, Pam read in the paper that she had passed away. Jim teaches guitar lessons to many children in their town, located in-between New York and Scranton. William and Drew both showed no interest in playing a musical instrument, but Emma wants to teach lessons like her father does someday.

In a way, they all found their happy endings.

**XXXX**

**It's over. I'm kind of sad, this was my first fan-fic ever! Just a note, I know you probably would rather have Michael marry Holly, but I decided to make it Jan because I didn't want to use someone I never introduced. **

**Anyways, I have some amazing reviewers to thank. BandGeek58407, bingbangboom714, , sarabara, LoveMeSomeJAM, kasplosion, JimPamJAM, raindropsX, DirtyEXmistress, henantz, officejam, Dweide Shrude, JB, jen, noodles medic, mbmimi, Sarah, and special thanks to ktface3. She was a super huge help to me when I new and didn't know anything!**

**You guys really have no idea how much all your support and reviews meant to me! **

**Peace out, loves. =]**


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